What IS Essential ?

What you are about to read will change the foregone conclusions and misconceptions many people harbor on the subject of beauty and achieving your best self. I’ve personally been in the business, specializing in hands and feet, for 44 years now and have enjoyed helping people feel good and/or better about themselves through appearance. Non-essential is not a word I personally take lightly concerning my industry. As a happiness and confidence builder for me and my client, it is also a privilege to have such a profession in so many ways and I have cherished my decades of creating beauty for my clients. 

     While going through and organizing my mother’s professional hairdressing and styling magazines I came across an insert by a master hairstylist, Michael O’Rourke, who is best known as the creator of Big Sexy Hair. This was an extremely popular look during the 80s and 90s of the last century- not so long ago! As I read through it I was so impressed with his contribution to the Celebration of American Salon magazine’s 125 years informing the industry of beauty, that I’ve decided to share the following words about a singular experience he shared with us. This past year has been a definite trial to our industry because of the pandemic. When all manner of folk were unable to come to us for their most precious ‘me’ time I’m sure we all felt in need of encouragement as well. Hence: 

The Gift 

A woman came into a salon one day, long ago. She was perhaps 5’4” and weighed close to 260 pounds. She requested all of the best treatments for her hair, plus a manicure and a pedicure. As she went through her day of beauty, she smiled and laughed with everyone. There was definite, positive energy flowing through the salon and when she left, as she hugged each person in thanks, she left behind a strange sensation. It was as if she still remained. The next day, she called the salon manager and said quietly: “I came into your salon yesterday and requested all your best treatments because I was preparing to commit suicide. I wanted to feel good about myself just one time. My self-esteem had hit an all time low and I just wanted to end it. But all of you were so accepting and made me feel so special that I’m not thinking that way anymore.” 

It is my pleasure to share this true story of one woman’s journey with you, my hairdressing friends. It’s time we celebrate your gifts, your enormous talent and energy. Only you know why you became a hairdresser, why you chose this joyous path. Perhaps, it’s because you felt that you just didn’t fit in. Maybe it’s because you weren’t like your sister the brain or your brother who went to college on a football scholarship. Maybe it’s because your unique sense of creativity challenged educators who tried in vain to chart you on an I.Q. scale. For whatever reason, no matter how painful or how rough the beginning, I urge you to celebrate your choice.

 Your mathematical prowess… 

 You are a mathematical genius. Think of what you do. You may have trouble balancing your checkbook but you cut angles with the precision of a surgeon and lines and shapes with the clarity of an engineer. You do so in the middle of a three ring circus called a salon. I doubt NASA could do it as well. 

Your resourcefulness… 

Your heart and soul…  

No one feels life more than a hairdresser. Here’s to all the marriages you’ve saved, the children you’ve helped raise, the clients you’ve buried, and the divorces you’ve weathered. You have experienced life on a level that only a hairdresser can truly understand. 

Your compassion… Hairdressers are givers. We share all that we have, without hesitation; our tools, our knowledge, our opinions, our advice. We teach without knowing, understand without analyzing, and grow without intention. In fact, the more we teach others, the more we teach ourselves. 

Celebrate your instincts… But most of all, Celebrate life. 

 Live life to the fullest and know that as we go forward, each phase to come is filled with a sense of adventure. It’s a journey of self-discovery and self-celebration. We are hairdressers and your gift, my gift, our gift- is to revel in the beauty of what we do and what we bring to humanity. To be a hairdresser or beautician, nail technician or an esthetician is the greatest gift I can imagine, and perhaps the greatest gift yet to be discovered. I urge you to discover this extraordinary gift each and every day.

 Michael O’Rourke 

In closing, I would like to thank Michael O’Rourke for writing this and taking the time to share something very important to us all and that is our self-worth, our resilience and hope in a better us. It made me fully believe that no matter what we face in the future, our work and our contribution to society is as essential as eating and sleeping. Nothing inspires us more than to know that we have left this world, in some way, a little better than the way we found it. 

The Castle Lady

Shop Smart, Shop Small

      It’s possible that you have seen the ads on T.V. and in print about shopping at local businesses, start-ups and Mom & Pop stores and have changed the usual way of doing business- you know, looking stuff up on Amazon or E-Bay for the cheapest price on over-advertised products. Old habits die hard so I’m writing a bit tongue-in-cheek but very serious about this new and important trend. My thoughts are along the order of the salvation of the American economy. It’s not just about shopping for products made in America- although that’s also important don’t get me wrong! It’s just as important that we recognize and shop smaller businesses because that’s where the lifeblood of our economy and getting back on our financial feet is truly going to happen. Statistics show that for every $100 spent at local small businesses, $68 of that amount returns or stays within the community. This means that small business owners are also supporting local, small businesses! That is a true win/win situation that is guaranteed to help us restructure and keep our communities strong financially.

     If you shop at or work for big business operations and national megastores this may come as a shock to you but that business may not sell items made in America and therefore doesn’t support the local economy. The revenue from the items sold will most likely support only the corporate headquarters locality or somewhere other than your own community. These stores are the reason that the buzzword ‘global’ has taken on a life of its own. Going global doesn’t necessarily mean we are buying products that are outsourced but too often they are where big business is concerned and they wouldn’t be able to offer you the discounts they give without outsourcing.

      Independent small businesses take on many forms in the shape of non-mall music stores, shoe shops or repair, florists, independent bookstores, upstart coffee shops, resell fashion and small beauty salons. Size isn’t our only difference. We get our products from producers and industry that make these supplies in small batches or by hand, often, with obviously better quality. We make up for size with quality, care and a personal touch that cannot be replaced with speed, discounting or large quantity supplies. Innovative ideas and techniques more often start as a small business than in a big box test lab.

      I am a person who loves to buy blank books in which I hand write my diaries and journals. I like to buy handmade blank books when I can. One time I found some beautifully handmade blank books at a renaissance fair in Larkspur, CO and practically bought the proprietress completely out. Each one is unique and I’ve never seen any others remotely like them. Believe it or not I’ve filled every one of those books long since. (I’ve been journaling since I was a pre-teen.) You should have seen this woman. I’m sure that was a happy dance in the back of the stall. Other manufactured books I’ve written in are falling apart and hers are still nearly indestructible after all these years. This is just one illustration but I think I’ve made my point.

      The way we shop or receive services can either make a difference as I’ve stated above or contribute to an economy that no longer supports us. American Express has dedicated a web site to this shopping phenomenon in hopes that it can aid not just the economy but the backbone of all business in our country and around the world. Even the wealthiest of our country, if we trace back their history, started out with modest businesses. Hard work and dedication plus some very smart business strategy made them what they are today- employers on a grand scale.

     For this Christmas season I encourage you to get out there and look for those shops that may be on a wing and a prayer today but may eventually support half your town because you gave them the opportunity over big box. You’ll also sleep better knowing that you are helping your own community. That’s worth it right there.  

Keep Calm and Shop Local !

The Castle Lady